Day 4:
Can’t Give Myself AwaY

It was August, I was 15, taking a roadtrip to a cabin in the Shenandoah mountains with two of my very best friends. It’d been a tough summer, amongst other things, I’d been through my first (horrendous) breakup. I’d discovered the “Graceland” album around that time, and remember this line speaking to me, “Losing love is like a window to your heart. Everybody sees you’re blown apart, everybody feels the wind blow.”

—

I would sneak out at night not to go anywhere but just to sit in the backyard and look at the sky. The light pollution made it look orange even at 2am, and I’d look at the black silhouette of trees against it, and think about how beautifully wrong it looked, and how being blown apart, everything was a little bit wrong now. But this trip was different; I was safe in the golden light of sisterhood, and platonic female care. We were singing in the car, and full body laughing, and inventing ways to make a silly DIY horror movie in the middle-of-nowhere mountains. I think about this trip, and how truly alive I felt after I thought the world had already ended.

“You’ll never know how it feels to lose you, there’s no getting used to it, baby, I’ve tried”

Studio BTS

Here’s today’s bit of a behind the scenes from the recording sessions at Plyrz Studios.

The Acoustic Version

Found nowhere else but here. An acoustic version, performed specially for you.

Lyrics

“Can’t Give Myself Away”

I think I’m falling once again

Into the same trap you put me in

I wanna love you but it never lasts

When push comes to shove, you’ll just repeat the past

I really need someone to talk to

Can’t seem to gauge who I can trust

You always tell me that I can be strong

Then you go away and I guess you’re wrong

Oh honey, I can’t give myself away

I can’t give myself away

If you won’t do the same

You tell me you’ll always be in my corner

You stick around long enough to get me attached

I start thinking about you night and day

I start thinking things’ll be okay

But you’ll never know how it feels to lose you

There’s no getting used to it, baby, I’ve tried

I put my walls up as high as I can

I swear it’s the last time I’m letting you in

Cause honey, I can’t give myself away

I can’t give myself away

If you won’t do the same

So honey, don’t go looking at me like that

I can’t sleep with my circuits wired

I can never guess where you’re at

You keep me running but I’m getting tired

I can’t give myself away

I can’t give myself away

If you won’t do the same

Can’t give myself away

I can’t give myself away

If you won’t do the same

If you won’t do the same

Honey, I know you feel the same

But you won’t give it away