Love Vigilantism

I wrote this song a couple months ago called “Love Vigilante”, and I’m currently rehearsing it with my band to debut live this month, so it’s been on my mind. I wanted to talk about the themes of it, the central idea of “love vigilantism”, and how I’ve been feeling it apply to our current societal predicaments today.

To write about the radical power of love is hardly a new, or untouched topic. Across all time it’s been the subject of early myths, legends and parables. The reviving powers of true love’s kiss, Helen of Troy starting a war, the idea that in monotheism, love is the unconditional binding force of the world.

Many of the most beloved and celebrated historical movers and shakers have preached the radical power of love, one example being Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Although today he has a holiday, his ideas of love and societal care were at the time to be radical enough to be a significant threat to the powers that be.

Although in some ways we’ve been taught the power of love, we’ve also been heavily conditioned to shrink its power. We’ve been taught that it’s safer to lead with fear instead, to not empathize/see the other, that the vulnerability love requires is a weakness, and leads only to pain/rejection. A lot of this has been suped up by gender conditioning, young girls raised on princesses and finding Prince Charming, and boys raised on being strong, getting ahead and conquering. The fact that “love” was seen as a value that only “women” care about, means that under patriarchy, when women are devalued, love is devalued, too. And men all the lonelier and less connected.

But if love is so inconsequential, why are lawmakers so utterly afraid of it? Just look at the recent onslaught we’ve seen of anti-LGBT state legislation. Why are so many seemingly unable to handle authentic love, or the act of self-love it is to live as one’s most authentic self? Personally, I think it’s because they don’t believe they can have this authenticity and love for themselves. So they lock their hearts and throw away the key.

Or think about the reaction one person speaking truth to power, from a place of love, received. Sinead o’Connor, a hero of mine, and a true love vigilante, became famous for her incredible voice and immense capacity to care. If you watch the “Nothing Compares 2 U” video, the sheer amount of passion and vulnerability she communicated speaks to what’s within her soul. It’s from that same soulful place that she spoke up about what was wrong in the world, from sexual abuse in the Catholic Church, to racism in England and government corruption. She was treated as crazy - banned from radios and heavily targeted by media for it. Now, with her passing last year, she is celebrated for everything she was tortured for in life. I believe she would not have been so put down if it weren’t for the immense power of her words, and the powerful love with which she communicated them.

Caring about people seems like it should be the obvious choice, our inherent instinct. We were taught the golden rule, weren’t we? But then look at our legislation. I can’t for the life of me understand how so many have come to believe that having healthcare, the ability to heal ourselves, and our loves ones, when we’re unwell, could possibly be controversial. Do we not care about people, and want them to be ok? The fact that the money that could go to healing each other instead going to bombing, and intentionally starving men, women and children on foreign soil? Aren’t they people, do we not care about people, and want them to be ok?

I guess the short answer is - they don’t. Those in power really don’t care about making everybody okay, not in any way we can depend on. So if the powers that be don’t want to act from a place of care, someone has to.

And there’s the vigilante part. Now, I am of the belief that love/violence can’t exist in the same breath. If you hold love for a fellow human, are able to see them as the squishy former-babies we all were, I don’t believe you can enact violence onto them. All to say this is a non-violent vigilantism.

When I think about love vigilantism, I think about going to the March 2nd rally for a ceasefire at Washington Square Park. I think about how it was pouring rain and everyone showed up anyway. I think mostly about the umbrellas; how people would raise and lower them to allow others to move through the crowd, or to further shelter anyone near by. Like a canopy of care.

I write this to encourage you to keep your hearts open, and to tell you it is the braver, more radical act to care. Sometimes it hurts, it opens us up to grief. But this is a good and useful hurt. What are some ways you can be a conduit of love in your own community?

Maybe it’s checking in on your friends. Maybe it’s mutual aid, or giving a couple dollars to someone begging on the corner. Maybe it’s paying someone a compliment who needs it. Maybe it’s continuing to share important information on social media, call reps, and attend protests. Maybe it’s holding space for the people in your lives, creating the nurturing environment you long for.

I think tapping into your gifts might be the most valuable way. Maybe you’re an artist, and can communicate truth and love this way. Maybe you’re a wonderful planner, and can help organize. Maybe your skillsets are technological, or athletic. Whatever it is, I promise you, reader, there is so much you can offer to make this world a better place. And I firmly believe it starts with love.

Sending Love, Hope & Strength,

Cal